The Four Agreements, written in 1997 by Don Miguel Ruiz is a book that has
been a source of inspiration and encouragement to many who have read it. Based on
ancient Toltec wisdom of the native people of Southern Mexico, it is a code for living; a template for personal
development, effective communication and healthy relationships. Ruiz challenges
us to explore ways in which we can implement these four agreements in your own
lives and free ourselves from self-limiting beliefs that rob us of love,
happiness and purpose in our lives.
Agreement 1: Be Impeccable with Your Word
Speak always
with integrity and truth and only say what you mean. Words have power whether you speak them over
yourself or others. Negative words only
serve to undermine our feelings of worth and sway us from our purpose. Therefore choose your words carefully; speak
in love and truth and seek to affirm, encourage and inspire both yourself and
those around you.
Agreement 2: Do Not Take Anything Personally
Nothing
others do is because of you. What others
do and how they treat you is because of their own reality: their dreams, fears
or insecurities. You are not their
problem. When you depend on others to
validate your self-worth then you allow them to decide how you feel about
yourself. No longer become a victim of
others opinions and actions and begin to accept your own uniqueness, value and
worth. When you no longer rely on the approval of others you are able to give yourself
permission to live the life you love.
Agreement 3: Do Not Make Assumptions
Do not jump
to conclusions, but make sure you understand the situation and the actions of
others. Many a battle is waged because
of a simple misunderstanding. Take the
time to listen carefully to what others say and need. Ask questions when you do not understand and
find within yourself the courage and conviction to express your thoughts, needs
and feelings truthfully. Clear, direct
and honest communication is the pathway to healthy and successful relationships.
Agreement 4:
Always Do Your Best
No matter
how you feel, no matter what the circumstances are in your life, always
endeavour to do the best you can do. You
and you alone are responsible for your life.
Blaming others, making excuses, giving up and giving in to despair and
failure will prevent you from fully participating in life and creating the life
you desire. When you commit to applying
yourself to the task at hand completely and fully then you will avoid
self-judgement, self-deprecation and regret and build a life that will have a
positive and lasting impact on those around you.
Our goal should not be to live forever but to do something
that will. (Chuck Palahniuk)
