What Makes a Relationship Successful?

In order for a relationship to be successful it must be balanced - an even and equal distribution of rewards creating a stable and healthy environment in which each individual can function at their best (Walster Walster and Berscheid’s, 1978).  A balanced relationship has the potential to enrich our lives, enhance our feelings of self-worth, support us in our pursuit of personal goals, provide us with feelings of comfort and enable us to freely express love.  They are “nurturing, stimulating and restorative” (Erskine, RG, Moursand, JP and Trautmann, RL; Beyond Empathy, p6)

Unbalanced relationships on the other hand are according to Homan’s Disruptive Justice Theory, one’s in which the costs and received rewards are disproportionate making one feel cheated.  Unbalanced relationships may also become ineffectual, no longer fulfilling a need or they may be unhealthy in which one individual exerts power over another depleting that person of his or her energy and joy.  Unbalanced relationships as a result can cause great personal distress.

The balance in relationships changes as we change and grow according to personal and external circumstances.  Some of these changes are temporary and others permanent.  Some long-term relationships such as marriage or the relationship between a mother and her child are flexible, adapting and growing with us.  Others are only seasonal and eventually fall away.  Trying to hold onto unbalanced relationships can be the cause of anxiety, fear, insecurity and conflict as one tries desperately to restore the balance.  Resentment, anger, guilt, jealousy and even a critical attitude may result if one does not understand and accept the nature of these changing relationships.

A therapist’s role is to help their client accept the things they cannot change and to have the confidence and wisdom to change the relationships, including the one with themselves, that are unbalanced, unhealthy or harmful.  There is always a price to pay for unbalanced relationships.  They deplete us of our energy and our enjoyment of life,  they erode away at our confidence and prevent us from pursuing our dreams and fulfilling our potential.  Ultimately they prevent us from functioning as a human, and of being in the world as a whole, fulfilled person.

If you are struggling in a relationship, be it with your partner, boss, work colleague, friend or even yourself, counselling can encourage you to explore areas in your life that are harmful, help you discover healthier ways of interacting with others and support you as you begin to make positive changes in your life.

I offer both couples and individual counselling.

If you would like to book your free 30 minute consultation, call me on 0783 4226 025 or email me at chameleoncoach101@gmail.com

Weight Loss Group Sessions

An affordable and convenient way to help those who are struggling with their weight or sense of wellbeing, and as a result suffer from low moods or low self-esteem. 

The programme consists of 4 sessions over 4 weeks for 1 hr.

Dates:  Thursday Sep 20^th, 27^th and Oct 4^th, 11th

Times:  You can chose either a morning or afternoon session:   

              Mornings from 10:00 – 11:00 or

              Afternoons from 1:30-2:30

I will use a combination of hypnosis, EFT and coaching to help you:

·      Uncover the emotional ties or triggers you may have to food,

·      Apply techniques to help you better cope with stress, pain and fear without resorting to food,

·      Reprogram your subconscious to desire healthy alternatives and a healthy lifestyle,

·      Create healthy eating and lifestyle habits,

·      Gain more confidence,

·      Increase your commitment to change,

·      Alter your attitude,

·      Breakdown the roadblocks and excuses to a healthy you,

·      Reach your own personal goals.

No weighing in and no diet plan!

What Is Your Investment?

It costs £60 per person (the equivalent of £15 per workshop) to be paid in full at time of booking.

Alternatively if you prefer you may book one-to-one hypnotherapy sessions, which cost £55 per session.

Places are limited so please book Now!

Call Chalene on 0783 4226 025 or email me at chameleoncoach101@gmail.com for further information.

Summer Special ending soon!

Stop Smoking Hypnotherapy Session 

Last chance offer ends Friday midnight 31st August 2012.

Was £120 NOW only £75 saving you a massive  40%.

Now has never been a better time to take back control of your life and become the non-smoker you desire to be.

Call me on 0783 4226 025 or email me at chameleoncoach101@gmail.com to book your session today and begin your journey to a healthier and happier you.

Summer Special

Stop Smoking Hypnotherapy Session 

NOW only £75 saving you a massive  40%.

This offer is only available until the end of August 2012.

Now has never been a better time to take back control of your life and become the non-smoker you desire to be.

Call me on 07834226025 or email me chameleoncoach101@gmail.com to book your session today and begin your journey to a healthier and happier you.

Finding Love

The Four Agreements, written in 1997 by Don Miguel Ruiz is a book that has been a source of inspiration and encouragement to many who have read it.  Based on ancient Toltec wisdom of the native people of Southern Mexico, it is a code for living; a template for personal development, effective communication and healthy relationships. Ruiz challenges us to explore ways in which we can implement these four agreements in your own lives and free ourselves from self-limiting beliefs that rob us of love, happiness and purpose in our lives.

Agreement 1: Be Impeccable with Your Word  

Speak always with integrity and truth and only say what you mean.  Words have power whether you speak them over yourself or others.  Negative words only serve to undermine our feelings of worth and sway us from our purpose.  Therefore choose your words carefully; speak in love and truth and seek to affirm, encourage and inspire both yourself and those around you.

Agreement 2: Do Not Take Anything Personally

Nothing others do is because of you.  What others do and how they treat you is because of their own reality: their dreams, fears or insecurities.  You are not their problem.  When you depend on others to validate your self-worth then you allow them to decide how you feel about yourself.  No longer become a victim of others opinions and actions and begin to accept your own uniqueness, value and worth. When you no longer rely on the approval of others you are able to give yourself permission to live the life you love.

Agreement 3: Do Not Make Assumptions

Do not jump to conclusions, but make sure you understand the situation and the actions of others.  Many a battle is waged because of a simple misunderstanding.  Take the time to listen carefully to what others say and need.  Ask questions when you do not understand and find within yourself the courage and conviction to express your thoughts, needs and feelings truthfully.  Clear, direct and honest communication is the pathway to healthy and successful relationships.

Agreement 4:  Always Do Your Best

No matter how you feel, no matter what the circumstances are in your life, always endeavour to do the best you can do.  You and you alone are responsible for your life.  Blaming others, making excuses, giving up and giving in to despair and failure will prevent you from fully participating in life and creating the life you desire.  When you commit to applying yourself to the task at hand completely and fully then you will avoid self-judgement, self-deprecation and regret and build a life that will have a positive and lasting impact on those around you.

Our goal should not be to live forever but to do something that will.  (Chuck Palahniuk)

Summer Sizzler


Pay only £25 for any full sessions of coaching and psychotherapy or counselling and couples pay only £30 per session, if you book and pay for your sessions before the end of the 30th June 2012.  

Give me call on 07834226025 and book your 30min complimentary consultation today.  

It has never been a better Time for Change.  Begin you summer on a good note and take advantage of this summer’s special.  

You save  £15 (individuals) or £20 (couples) a session if you book and pay for your sessions by midnight on the 30th June. 

How to Survive the Rain

As the prospect of a hot BBQ-filled summer seems to be slowly receding due to the persistent rain and lack of sunshine, feelings of despair, irritability and depression can surface in many of us.  In some, the symptoms may be so severe that leading a normal life and conducting healthy relationships becomes incredibly difficult and at worst, impossible. 

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) often referred to as the “winter blues” or “winter depression” affects 1 in 15 Brits every year.  It is a type of depression linked to the seasons, in which symptoms are most prevalent and severe during the dark winter months.

The causes of SAD are not completely clear but many believe that we need sunlight to stimulate the production of the chemicals in our brain which make us feel good, such as serotonin, and those which help maintain our body's circadian rhythm (internal clock) such as melatonin.

People who suffer from SAD may experience depression, irritability, sleep problems, lethargy, over-eating, a loss of concentration, anxiety, a loss of libido and frequent mood changes, and may as a result, withdraw and become unsociable.

If you suffer from symptoms of SAD, here are 7 tips you can try, to help boost your mood and bring a little more “sunshine” into your life.

1. Light Therapy is regarded as an effective way to combat SAD.  The bulb in a light-box is extremely bright, (10 times stronger than an ordinary light bulb).  By sitting in front of a light-box for up to 2hrs a day, the intense light mimics the effect of natural sunshine and helps stimulate our bodies to produce our feel-good chemicals. 
2. Get Outside whenever possible and soak in as much natural light as you are able.  Enjoying those little bursts of sunshine can do wonders for how we feel within ourselves.
3. Stay Active by walking or going to the gym.  Exercise is also a good way of naturally stimulating the production of serotonin, which makes us feel healthier and a whole lot happier.
4. Eat a Healthy, Balanced Diet. Healthy food will help boost your mood.  Our bodies absorb sunshine, and from it we get vitamin D. Try and eat foods, which provide a good source of vitamin D, such as oily fish or eggs, as this will help replenish your supplies.
5. Keep Busy. Take up a new hobby or visit friends and family, so that you have something you can enjoy doing and look forward to.  Support from other people will help you get through your most difficult times.
6. Try Complementary Therapies such as counselling, psychotherapy and hypnotherapy, as these can help you find effective ways of coping with your symptoms, enabling you to live a more normal and productive life.
7. Consult Your Doctor if your symptoms prevent you from living a normal life.  A correct diagnosis and an effective treatment plan can go along way to helping you on your road to recovery.

If you suffer from symptoms of SAD and would like to discuss how psychotherapy may help you to cope, please call me to on 07834226025 to book your complimentary 30min consultation.